Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
