There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
