Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
