I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
