There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
