I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
