just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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