Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
