Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
