Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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