I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
