I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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