I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
