I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
