I can't breathe out the right side of my face
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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