i permit you to call me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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