I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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