You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
