do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
