I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just had sex on a roof
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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