why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
