There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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