i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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