I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
bring money and cleavage
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
