I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
