Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
