As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
