You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
