end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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