dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
