yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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