Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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