she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
