I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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