I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
