Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
