with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Terrible idea I love it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
