you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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