She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
