im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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