So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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