if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They have beer where we have blood.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
