ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
