I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
