Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
