Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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