Don't you send me to vm
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
