I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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