yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
