There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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